On Being Reborn In Islington

It's 12:49 on Sunday night and I'm so tired I can't sleep. On Friday I went to a Trainer's ThinkTank session in Bristol organised by the marvellous Lee Cottier, which left me buzzing with new connections and loads of new ideas for things I could do to clarify what I'm about and how I want to focus my efforts to ensure that I get the right kind of work for me, and that I don't have to wait too long for it!

This was the only the 2nd ThinkTank that Lee has organised but it has the well-oiled feel of something that's been going for ages and I felt very lucky to be a part of it. It's amazing how my horizons have been expanding: not so long ago I couldn't imagine not being part of the community of my old workplace, and I imagined the world outside to be hostile and scary. Not a bit of it! Everywhere I go, people are warm and welcoming, willing to share their experiences and lend a supporting hand, and very encouraging when I tell them what I'm doing. It feels so refreshing after what my experience at work came to be like, I keep having to pinch myself!

On Saturday, my lovely husband and I spent 8.5 hours on a coach to and from London so that we could go to the Coaching Development Christmas Party in Islington, which was the first time I'd been back to the place where I did my coaching qualification course since it finished in July. We were both shattered because one of the cats had been playing up all night so we'd not had much sleep, but we decided not to take the easy option and stay at home.

And I'm so glad! Despite feeling like the undead on the Tube, once we came up out of the Angel station, and I was surrounded by Islington in all its glory, I suddenly got the most amazing rush of exhilaration, and it lasted me until we got back on the coach 2.5 hours later.

My life changed in Islington. I remember being afraid before I went on the coaching course, because I knew that I would change as a result of it, and I was worried about the impact it would have on me and those around me. I was assuming that the changes would make me dissatisfied with my lot and they did, but not in the way I feared. I think my marriage and my relationship with my children has become stronger as a result of the course, and my relationship with myself and what I want from life has altered out of all recognition.

I now associate Islington with a kind of re-birth. For many of us, the course was something of a spiritual journey, not necessarily in that we found God (well I didn't, I can't speak for anyone else) rather in that we found ourselves and realised our true purpose. I remember being witness so some astonishingly transformative moments as my colleagues got in touch with their innermost fears and desires, and I particularly remember spending one lunchtime sitting alone in glorious sunshine, revelling in just being, and realising that I had finally come to a place of peace and stillness within myself. That lunchtime had a profound effect on me, and the memory is now a touchstone for me when things start to get a bit hectic. The feeling of inner peace has never really left me since then and I suspect it never will.

To be back in that special place, then, and with my special person, was a bit like having all my Christmasses and Birthdays come at once. And on top of that, we went back into the building where it all happened and there were Phil and Colin, my gurus, and lots of lovely chums from my course, all delighting in seeing each other and catching up with the news. It was like I'd never been away and I came away floating on a cloud of love and affection which is still making me smile.

And on top of that, I found when I checked my emails on the way home that I'd had a 2nd article published on ezine - these articles are, for me, part of the concrete proof that my life has taken a radical change of direction. It;s not something that i would ever dreamed of doing in my old life, but suddenly my mind is alive with ideas and possibilities - to the extent that tonight, right before I started writing this blog, I uploaded the first 5 chapters of a children's story to the authonomy website. If you want to have a read, you can find it here. It's called the Blibble and I started writing it 15 years ago, never really thinking it would see the light of day despite the children urging me to finish it over the years.

But now I'm a new version of me, and there are all sort of new possibilities in my life - and why shouldn't I write a book? I'd love to know what you think, and if you have children I'd really love to know what they think - and if enough people want to know what happens next, I shall oblige.

Life is full of possibilities. It can also be full of fears, and I have spent too many years being held in one place by mine. But now I have grasped the nettle, and I don't intend to let go of it.