On Visualising Success

Blimey what a week it's been!

Last time I had time to blog I was recovering from an attack of the wobbles, and since then it's been nothing but positive (despite spending what felt like most of last weekend taking various members of the family to A&E!)

On Saturday I held the pilot of Day 1 of my True Colours Foundation Workshop, ably assisted by a group of 6 lovely people who all volunteered to be my guinea pigs for the occasion. They were incredibly generous with their feedback and evaluation and I'm reassured that, with a few very minor tweaks, I have a really strong product to offer - one of my guinea pigs referred to the workshop as a "detox for the soul" and another said it was the best personal development workshop they've ever been on - so they've even written some of my marketing for me!!

Then yesterday I spent the afternoon with an amazing young lady called Catherine Robinson. She's only 21 and already she's lived in loads of different countries and is now running her own business, Objektum Venues. Catherine's passion and values drive her business - she sets exemplary standards for herself and her clients and you know from the minute you start to talk to her that she won't let you down.

I hired Catherine to find the perfect location for my True Colours workshops. The brief I gave her was that I want my workshops to feel like a spa treatment for your insides (but without the colonic irrigation aspect!) - so if you come along to a True Colours workshop, every aspect of it should feel like a treat but one that's doing you some life-long good. To me that means discreet luxury, gorgeous surroundings, peaceful beautiful surroundings, exquisite food and, most importantly, home-made cupcakes. You should know the minute you walk through the door that you're going to be looked after and cared for, and that if the course takes you on an emotional jouney, you're in a safe place.

The venue Catherine found me is exquisite, and I knew the minute I walked through the door that it was the one for me. If you want to be one of the first to know where it is, when the workshops will run and how you can be one of the first to experience them, you'll need to subscribe to my website so that you get a copy of my newsletter - it's due out on Feb 1st...

We finished our afternoon with tea and cakes in a lovely little tea shop in Winchcombe, and Catherine so inspired me that I'm developing some of her ideas for inclusion in my work. If ever you're looking for an event manager or venue finder, do give her a go, she's fabulous and a really nice person to boot.

On Calming The Inner Voice

I had a bit of a wobble over the weekend.

I started finding it really difficult to switch off at nght, and found myself waking up at 4 in the morning with my head spinning with all the "stuff" I had to do, which led to getting up at silly o'clock to get work done and then fretting when I couldn't think clearly. By Monday morning I was in a bit of a state, and by Monday teatime all I wanted to do was sit in a corner and cry.

Instead of doing that, I took myself off to bed for some quiet time to think, drink tea and calm down.

I listened very hard to what was going on in my head and realised that my inner voice was chuntering away along these lines:

"You've got to think about marketing and you need a PR strategy and there's that workshop you're running on Saturday and you need to be ready for that and have you contacted the people that are coming yet and you're nearly out of business cards and you need to learn how to hold a teleseminar and it's about time you recorded another podcast and when are you going to find somewhere for your workshops and if you held a seminar would anyone come and what kind of cupcakes are you going to make and...and...and..."

It's no wonder I couldn't sleep! Once I started to pay attention to what my inner voice was saying, I immediately realised that I was stressing myself out because I had fallen into one of my usual self-inflicted bear-traps - I had got so swept up with the excitement of new things, that I'd stopped planning and prioritising, and now I couldn't see the wood for the trees.

So, instead of just letting the inner voice keep going and driving me mad, I decided to pay it some attention, and I wrote down all the things it was telling me I needed to do. This immediately helped me to feel calmer. It's like paying attention to a small child - if you ignore it it just gets more and more persistent and insistent, tugging at your sleeve, getting louder, climbing all over you until you get completely exasperated with it. If you listen to what it's saying (provided you're not in the middle of something critical) and acknowledge what it's trying to tell you, it's happy and will wander off to do something else, leaving you to concentrate on what you were doing.

So I acknowledged my inner voice, recognising that, in this instance, it was trying to help me. Once I'd written down all the things it was reminding me about, I was able to prioritise them and recognise that actually only a very few need my attention this week, and the rest could wait. Another huge weight off my shoulders, and a lessening of my stress.

And then, of course, I acknowledged that what I need is to draw up a plan and stick to it, rather than getting carried away with things and wanting to do it all now. And how those of you that used to work with me will be laughing now, famous as I was for chafing against the need to be tied down by plans!

Well, you live and learn. I don't want to allow myself to get panicky and anxious in my new life - I know it's inevitable that there will be some stress, but I'm not going to let it take over as I have before. I've done pretty well so far, and I think this weekend was the first time I've felt anything other than exhilarated since I gave my notice in back in October. Maybe I was due for a reminder that you can't expect to run on exhilaration without getting exhausted, and that I need to take some time to relax every once in a while?

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On Asking for More Help

The campaign to ask for quotes is picking up - since I last blogged I've sent 3 more emails and with the help of my lovely husband and our best friend I now have a long list of people I want to contact.

I also had a comment from Rachel on my last post which has really made me think. Rachel offered to supply me with a quote herself, on the basis that she has a book that she's trying to have published, so although she's not famous now, she might be by the time my book is complete.

And I suddenly thought - why do we concentrate on what people in the public eye think? There are an awful lot of people out there whose ideas and opinions are equally as valid and inspiring but who we never hear from

So I've expanded my thinking about what this book will contain. I'm going to continue my campaign to get quotes from the famous on the importance of living an authentic life and showing the world your true colours, but I'm also going to include contributions from people who aren't in the public eye.

And this is where I need your help.

I want to know who, in your life, inspires you because they are living/lived an authentic life. It doesn't matter who they are or what they do/did for a living, I want to know how their true colours have made an impact on those around them.

Please either add a comment to this post or email me at colourfulcoaching@ymail.com and put Book Quote in the subject line. I promise I'll use every quote I get and every contributor will receive a copy of the book when it's ready.

Once you've made your contribution, please pass on the details of this project to everyone you know - I'd really love to make this a global project, and have contributions from every continent - let's see what the power of the web can do!

I'll keep you posted on how it's going - thanks for your support!

On Being Bold and Asking for What You Want

Two days away from work, doing family things has given me time to think, and has allowed the Universe to do its thing and send me things to think about. And the message from the universe is, in a nutshell, "Think Big and Ask for What You Want".

Firstly, there was a conversation in the car with my lovely daughter (here's a photo of her so you can see how utterly gorgeous she is as well as brilliant) while I was driving her back to Uni. She is firmly of the opinion that I should be contacting the national media about Colourful Coaching, and offering them the opportunity to get in at the ground floor by supporting me as I build the business. This is a novel thought, as I had thought of approaching the media and then shied away, thinking that they wouldn't be interested in little old me. She's quite fierce when roused, is my girl (chip off the old block, some might say....) and she was adamant that I should think like a man and ask for what I want. As she says, the worst that can happen is that they'll say no, and I won't be any worse off than I am now.

This coincided with a tweet from the amazing and inspiring Deborah Stewart. She had retweeted someone else's tweet (are you still with me?) that said "Ask ask ask ask. Your success depends on your willingness to ASK".

And then, while browsing in a charity bookshop yesterday, I came across a fabulous little book called "Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite" by Paul Arden, which is all about how, if you think differently about things, you're going to get a different and probably better result than you would if you carried on thinking about things the same way everyone else does.

Hmmm, I'm thinking. Hmmm....someone's trying to tell me something.

And then I thought of Damian Hughes...if you don't know about him, do look him up, he's one of the people that inspired me to go it alone and he's also a shining example of someone who decided what he wanted and then didn't stop asking for it until he got it.

So what effect has all this had? Well, today I have emailed the following people to ask them for a quote on the importance of living an authentic life and showing the world your True Colours:

• Damian Hughes
• Zandra Rhodes
• Chris Evans

I shall do 3 every day until I have enough to make a book - and then I shall make a book! And I need your help, so please give me your suggestions for who else I should ask for contributions, and I'll contact them.

Onwards and Upwards!!

Quick update - since I wrote the first bit, I've also contacted 2 major magazines and offered myself as a contributor. Watch this space....

On Turning Molehills into Mountains...and back again

Isn't it funny how sometimes it's the simplest things that we turn into huge, unwieldy obstacles? I'm finding any excuse to avoid picking up the phone and calling people I've met at networking events - even though when I met them in person I had no trouble striking up a conversation and getting on very well with them. I know I need to follow up on last week's mailshot and I even know what I want to say, and yet still I'm finding reasons not to pick up the phone. Even writing this blog now is a form of procrastination!

But wait, maybe I can use the blog to coach myself over the blockage? It kind of worked last time, after all. OK then, first question:

• what's going on in my head right now?

a mixture of frustration at myself for being so wet, acknowledgement that an awful lot of people feel like this about making phone calls, and remembering advice from people to start gently by making one call a day, and to begin with "warm calling" (ie calling people you've already met and talked to) rather than "cold calling" (ringing complete strangers).

• and what else?

I'm trying to move from being frustrated with myself, to taking an objective view and being interested in what's going on for me. And so I find that what's interesting for me is that I find things which many people dread, like public speaking, really easy and rewarding to do and that makes me wonder whether I could view any potential phone call as a public speaking opportunity. Which firther leads me on to think that, although I've jsut said that I know what I want to say, maybe I should write myaself some prompt cards, just in case? I probably won't use them, but just writing things down helps to lodge them in my memory - and now I find I'm thinking about shopping lists - I tend to write out a shopping list and then not take it with me because I don't actually need it - the same applies with speaking notes.

• and what else?

that I could usefully give myself a break and stop being so hard on myself!Abd what's come from that thought is that, when I picture myself making these calls, I'm picturing spending hours on the phone and not stopping until I've got loads of work out of it, which is insane. So I'm working to an insane vision of success! Excellent, that's REALLY going to help!

• so what would be a more helpful vision of success?

well, I won't be working tomorrow because it's my lovely husband's birthday so I shall be spending the day cherishing him instead - so a more helpful vision of success would be for me to make 2 "warm calls" today, with the aim of gently reminding the recipients about my mailshot, and that we've met, and that I'm here. And I could also tell them about my free download, and my podcast, so that they can have a free taste of what I do as well.

• OK, so today you'll call 2 people you've met before, to make sure they got your mailshot and to tell them about a couple of new products you're offering. What do you want to leave them thinking after the conversation?

I want them to remember meeting me in person, and to remember that they expressed an interest in working with me when we met, and to give some thought to whether or not they want to take up the offer I made in the mailshot.

• So basically this call is to prompt them into thinking about using your services?

Yes - and that's where the problem lies because I don't want to be pushy.

• What does pushy mean to you?

It means in your face, demanding, salesy, not taking no for an answer

• That sounds like a list of negatives. Are they always negative qualities as far as you're concerned?

I suppose not, but I think in this instance they would be and that's not how I want to come across. I guess I could allay my own fears on that score by being upfront about my call - if I tell the person I'm calling that what I'm doing at the moment is making contact, then I won't feel bad about it.

I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and ring someone, get it over with, and then report back. That way I'll have achieved half of my goal already, and I'll have some feedback for myself. Right here goes...

Ok - I've made 2 calls because I only got voicemail for the first one (but I left a message!). From the second call, I gathered the information that last week's mailshot hadn't reached it's intended recipient - must follow that one up and see if any of the other ones have got lost - but once I'd explained what was in it, I was invited to send some details in as they are, right this minute, drawing up their learning and development plan for 2010 and would like to make some room for me in it. Woohoo!

• So, what have you learnt as a result of that exercise?

Well, I've reminded myself that I have felt like this before over the years, and whenever I've ignored the negative feelings and pressed ahead regardless, it's always turned out OK. I've had my confidence boosted and I've learnt (yet again, one day it'll stick!) that it's better to get something over and done with if the thought of it makes you anxious, rather than letting it fester. Or as someone once memorably said, it's better to eat the toad first thing in the morning because then you'll know you've already done that day's most unpleasant thing!

So, off to send an email to my contact, and then, who knows, I may REALLY overachieve, and make another phone call!!

Onwards and upwards...

On Movement in Stillness

I've been thinking a lot about something my yoga teacher said the other day - although it might look like you're keeping still in a pose, within that stillness there should be movement as the aim is always to be stretching and deepening.

There's a clear link for me there with my coaching practice. One of the things it's taken me years to learn (and I've not finished learning, it's going to be a life-long process!) is to be quiet and let the silence grow. A powerful coaching question will always lead to a silence on the part of the client, and you can always tell when there's movement within that silence, when the client's mind is firing off on all cylinders. That's the point when it's crucial for the coach to be still and quiet and leave the space free for the client's mind to expand into.

As I said, it's going to be a lifelong learning process for me, learning to shut up, and I've come a long way from where I used to be (when I first started to learn about coaching I used to sit with my hand over my mouth to remind me!). Some days it comes more easily than others, and I find it easier to stay silent with some clients than with others. Just like yoga really, some poses I can relax and stretch into, some make me fall over!

On Inspiration

Yesterday was an inspiring day, thanks to the following 3 people:

First of all there's Sharon Gaskin, founder of The Trainers Training Company and all round Good Egg. I first came across Sharon when she gave a presentation at a meeting of the Gloucester Coaches Network shortly before Christmas. I found what she had to say really useful,and she had a major effect on my approach to building my business - if you're sick of seeing me on Twitter, blame Sharon :-)

Yesterday, one of Sharon's tweets introduced me to Nicola Bird, founder of Take Action, Get Clients and creator of a fantastic-looking online coaching tool called JigsawBox, which I hope to be able to use in the not-too-distant future. Nicola has provided a free download of a document which I used yesterday to help me to draw up a MUCH more sensible and focused business plan than the one I had originally, and which will, in tandem with Sharon's advice, enable me to realise my ambitions for Colourful Coaching.

Last but by no means least, a few weeks ago I joined an online network for women in business called Business Women's Cafe. Through that, I became aware of a new magazine that a truly inspiring lady called Lisa Mundembe is setting up. This is a direct quote from Lisa that explains what the magazine is all about:

The vision of Inspirational Magazine is to help people to know that there is hope after or during their encounters, that they are capable of still living their dream even though they went through what they went through and for some are still going through what they are going through, that we all have a destiny, we all have talents, dreams/vision and that we can achieve more than we actually think we can if we are determined, dedicated and believe. Inspirational Magazine aims at building individuals, developing individuals, encouraging individuals, challenging individuals, be a positive read to readers and inspiring individuals through real life experiences, real life stories, motivational messages, inspirational articles, encouraging messages/articles including articles that you can learn one or two things from that will be in the magazine.

I read the first edition online, and liked it so much I submitted an article based on my recent blog post about facing your fears. Lisa called me yesterday to say thank you - and we ended up agreeing that I would contribute a series of monthly articles to Inspirational Magazine, the first hard copy issue if which is currently at the printers. Having heard Lisa's story, and the conviction she has about what she's doing, I can only admire her and urge her to succeed. If her plan succeeds, you should soon be seeing copies of Inspirational Magazine appearing in a supermarket near you - please give it and Lisa your support.

There are so many generous, inspiring people out there and I've only mentioned 3 - I'd love to know who inspires you...

On Having A Room Of One's Own

For the first time in 20 years, I have a room of my own. One of the reasons we chose this house was because it had a room that I could turn into my office. For a while when we first moved in it was the cats' bedroom but now they have the right to roam and I have reclaimed my space - and it's wonderful.

When I was doing my coach training I had a session with a wonderful chap called Euan Cowie
Euan led me through a visualisation session which helped me to cristalise thoughts I'd had in an earlier session with the equally wonderful Anny Alipranti, where we'd been describing our optimal coaching state to each other.

With Euan's help, I was able to bring to life my earlier thoughts so that my optimal state became a "real" place to go to when coaching or preparing to coach. And now, with help from my family - most notably my lovely son, who did a glorious job with the painting - my "real" place has become a real place!

When I go into my office and close the door, it's like being in another world - no mean feat when the house is full of teenagers! I have my special things around me - pictures that mean something to me, carefully chosen furniture and furnishings, cards from well wishers and all my training and coaching materials. And when I sit down and let my inner eye take over, I reconnect with the deep sense of peace and joy I felt during those sessions with Euan and Anny, and I know that I'm in my optimal state both inside and outside.

Sometimes it can be hard to find peace in the middle of the busy lives we lead, and I know how difficult it can be when you've got a family to find a place of stillness, let alone one that you can call your own. But if you can find it, or you're lucky enough to have already found it, make sure you cherish it. I've waited a long time for mine, and I feel exceptionally blessed to have it at last.

Now it's time to head off into whatever adventures today has in store - onwards and upwards!

On Facing Your Fears

When I was at work, I used to really struggle with waking up - my lovely husband even got me one of those alarm clocks that mimics the sunrise. But still I used to take an age to get going and then spend all day yawning and feeling like I'd been done out of some much needed sleep. But since I've been working for myself, I find I have no such problems. I wake up, I have my cup of tea and I'm raring to go - my mind is full of ideas and I can't wait to get on with the working day.

I don't think I've ever felt this positive at this time of the year, and certainly not first thing in the morning. Feeling happy, confident and full of promise is a very powerful combination - my true colours are shining through and I can heartily recommend this feeling to everyone.

To think I spent so many years being frightened to make this move - coaching helped me to side-step the fear and once I'd gone round it and seen it from the other side I realised it wasn't the big scary monster I'd always thought it was - or rather, it was but it also had its good side. From there, it was easy to harness it for my own ends and walk forwards in tandem with it, up a gentle slope rather than a huge mountain. And now, here I am in the sunlit uplands :-)

When I was coached through my fear (thank you, Anna Lambe xxx) I described it as being big and hairy - Anna immediately got me to think of Sully from Monsters Inc and I realised that fear can be a good thing as well as a bad thing - Sully may be a monster but he's very cuddly and helpful and protective. And sometimes you need a healthy dose of fear to kick start you into action.

Anna then sent me a picture of Sully cuddling a little girl who was dressed up as a monster - and that's when it really hit me. Sometimes, to be bold you need to pretend to be bold first. I decided to put on my own monster suit and step out into life as if I was fearless - and I was bowled over by how easy everything became.

What fears are holding you back from doing what you want to do? Think about your situation - can you narrow down what it is exactly that you're frightened of? Can you describe the fear to yourself in a way that allows you to see the positive side of it? It sounds simple, but it can take a very long time to realise it - a change in your own attitude can reduce the thing that you fear the most to a little pile of ashes, leaving you free to saunter along and enjoy the sunlit uplands of your own life. Why not give it a try?

On Enthusiasm

Yesterday was the first proper day of work for most of the country, myself included. But it wasn't like it's always been before for me. I saw lots of my friends having to steel themselves to get up early and go reluctantly into work (I hope the 9am meet up for coffee and moral support at Ritazza went well, oh Shiny Dudes!) and I waved my own lovely husband off as het set out into the freezing fog with an air of resolve and reluctance about him.

And me? I was tucked up in the warm with a hot water bottle, a cup of tea and my trusty laptop, eager to crack on and full of ideas. It really is true that it doesn't feel like work if you enjoy it. And I'd go further than that and say that, now that I'm in charge of my own destiny, I have an energy and a work ethic I haven't experienced for a VERY long time.

So what did I do with it all yesterday? Well, I sent out a mailshot to 40 local companies, all fellow members of Cheltenham Chamber of Commerce, offering them a free coaching session - in this business it's all about reputation, and no-one's going to hire me in preference to anyone else unless they've seen me in action and think that I can do a better job than their current supplier. I read somewhere that you generally only get a 1 in 10 return rate from this kind of marketing so I'm hoping for a maximum of 4 new clients as a result.

I needed to bank my FIRST EVER CHEQUE FROM A CLIENT (woohoo!!) and buy some printer labels so I decided at lunchtime to walk to the Bath Road - it was such an utterly beautiful day! I grew up round here so I decided to try out the old back ways and footpaths that I used to use when I was a nipper. I ended up taking 2.5 hours to get there and back and complete my transactions but it was wonderful - I explored bits of Hatherley/Warden Hill/Tivoli etc that I haven't seen for years, I found a whole new housing estate that I never knew existed (and was able to say to someone "the last time I used this footpath it was all fields round here!"). I met some lovely dogs and their charming owners and, best of all, I was able to bask in the glorious sunlight rather than being cooped up inside with no idea of what the weather was doing.

I then spent far too long doing battle with my printer but we finally reached an understanding and I showed it who's boss. Note to self: must buy some more paper to make up for all the sheets that got wasted yesterday, and next time buy standard sized labels. Ho Hum.

I had an email saying that I've had another article published on ezine - this one's about how Evil Leaders can lower staff morale very easily by following advice from the Institute of Evil Leadership (I have appointed myself spokeswoman for the Institute...). You can read the article here http://is.gd/5MCYV

And then, to round of a splendid day's work, I heard that 2 of the 3 potential coaching clients that I visited just before Christmas have selected me to be their coach. Much delighted whooping ensued and I allowed myself another cup of tea and a slice of cake to celebrate. I'm going down to Surrey to meet up with them on Friday so that we can crack on.

As for today, I shall be concentrating on raising awareness of my New Year, New You workshops: the evening classes are due to start next week and so far I don't have any takers, so my target is to have at least 4 people signed up by the end of tomorrow - there are only 12 places available so if you're reading this and you're in Cheltenham and you're at all interested, please have a look here http://is.gd/5MCPv and book yourself a place. And if it's not for you, then please forward the details on to any friends you think might like it.

OK, that's the first thing on today's to do list done, onwards and upwards!