Noticing

I have a bartering arrangement going with one of my clients - I get a one hour one-to-one yoga lesson in return for a one hour coaching session. Fair exchange is no robbery, and I'm more than happy to be receiving payment in kind instead of money (and if there are any massage therapists in and around Cheltenham who'd like some coaching in exchange for giving me a massage, please get in touch!)

I'm new to yoga - it's something I've been thinking about for a while and the right time seems to have arrived. During this week's session I became aware that there are some really strong links between the practices of yoga and coaching, and the one I want to talk about here is noticing.

We start each yoga lesson with my yoga teacher reminding me how to stand correctly. He does this starting from the toes up, and as he encourages me to get my body into alignment, he constantly tells me to notice things - notice how your feet are on the floor - notice where your weight is, is it even or is it to one side - notice whether your core is strong - notice how your head is held on your neck - notice whether there is tension in your shoulders. The more notice I take of my body, and how I'm inhabiting it, the more I become aware of when I'm not holding myself correctly. And the more I try to hold myself correctly, the more I become aware that, when I can get myself into something resembling the correct posture, the more it seems like my body is holding me, rather than the other way around. I know it will be a long slow process to get it right and keep it right because I've got a lot of years of bad posture to undo, but I can already understand the difference it will make to me if I keep on noticing.

Noticing is also key for me as a coach and in terms of my own personal development. As a coach, I spend my time focussing on my client, listening to what they do and don't say, and doing my best to take notice of the story behind the words. It's my job to then tell my client what I notice about what they've said, so that they can see things from another perspective. I think of it as being like a tour guide - I have the torch and I can shine lights into the corners of the clients mind so that they can get a clearer view of what's there.

When you listen to someone with you whole attention, and then repeat back to them what you heard, and what you noticed about what you heard, it can often sound to the client as if you've revealed a profound truth to them, but one so obvious that they can't believe they hadn't thought of it for themselves. Often a client will thank me for, in their words, making a really good suggestion. In reality, what I've done is to illuminate thoughts they've already had but not looked at closely enough to make sense of. In noticing those ideas and bringing them to my client's notice, I've ensured that the client can make full use of them.

Learning to notice what's going on in my own thinking has been just as useful and anyone can learn to do it. We all have an internal dialogue going on - and if someone inside your head is saying "what's she talking about? I haven't got an internal dialogue" - then I'm here to tell you that that was it, denying it's own existence! More often than not, we let that little voice chunter away all day every day. We probably think we don't take much notice of it, but actually it can form the basis of a lot of our actions, and colour our opinions on many things. When we jump to conclusions or make assumptions about things, it can often be because our internal dialogue has led us there. Becoming consciously aware of what's happening in that dialogue, and noticing the effect it's having on everything from our mood to our behaviour, is a really good way of starting to examine patterns of unhelpful behaviour in ourselves and in others and it's a crucial first step in learning to coach yourself.