On Calming The Inner Voice

I had a bit of a wobble over the weekend.

I started finding it really difficult to switch off at nght, and found myself waking up at 4 in the morning with my head spinning with all the "stuff" I had to do, which led to getting up at silly o'clock to get work done and then fretting when I couldn't think clearly. By Monday morning I was in a bit of a state, and by Monday teatime all I wanted to do was sit in a corner and cry.

Instead of doing that, I took myself off to bed for some quiet time to think, drink tea and calm down.

I listened very hard to what was going on in my head and realised that my inner voice was chuntering away along these lines:

"You've got to think about marketing and you need a PR strategy and there's that workshop you're running on Saturday and you need to be ready for that and have you contacted the people that are coming yet and you're nearly out of business cards and you need to learn how to hold a teleseminar and it's about time you recorded another podcast and when are you going to find somewhere for your workshops and if you held a seminar would anyone come and what kind of cupcakes are you going to make and...and...and..."

It's no wonder I couldn't sleep! Once I started to pay attention to what my inner voice was saying, I immediately realised that I was stressing myself out because I had fallen into one of my usual self-inflicted bear-traps - I had got so swept up with the excitement of new things, that I'd stopped planning and prioritising, and now I couldn't see the wood for the trees.

So, instead of just letting the inner voice keep going and driving me mad, I decided to pay it some attention, and I wrote down all the things it was telling me I needed to do. This immediately helped me to feel calmer. It's like paying attention to a small child - if you ignore it it just gets more and more persistent and insistent, tugging at your sleeve, getting louder, climbing all over you until you get completely exasperated with it. If you listen to what it's saying (provided you're not in the middle of something critical) and acknowledge what it's trying to tell you, it's happy and will wander off to do something else, leaving you to concentrate on what you were doing.

So I acknowledged my inner voice, recognising that, in this instance, it was trying to help me. Once I'd written down all the things it was reminding me about, I was able to prioritise them and recognise that actually only a very few need my attention this week, and the rest could wait. Another huge weight off my shoulders, and a lessening of my stress.

And then, of course, I acknowledged that what I need is to draw up a plan and stick to it, rather than getting carried away with things and wanting to do it all now. And how those of you that used to work with me will be laughing now, famous as I was for chafing against the need to be tied down by plans!

Well, you live and learn. I don't want to allow myself to get panicky and anxious in my new life - I know it's inevitable that there will be some stress, but I'm not going to let it take over as I have before. I've done pretty well so far, and I think this weekend was the first time I've felt anything other than exhilarated since I gave my notice in back in October. Maybe I was due for a reminder that you can't expect to run on exhilaration without getting exhausted, and that I need to take some time to relax every once in a while?

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On Being Bold and Asking for What You Want

Two days away from work, doing family things has given me time to think, and has allowed the Universe to do its thing and send me things to think about. And the message from the universe is, in a nutshell, "Think Big and Ask for What You Want".

Firstly, there was a conversation in the car with my lovely daughter (here's a photo of her so you can see how utterly gorgeous she is as well as brilliant) while I was driving her back to Uni. She is firmly of the opinion that I should be contacting the national media about Colourful Coaching, and offering them the opportunity to get in at the ground floor by supporting me as I build the business. This is a novel thought, as I had thought of approaching the media and then shied away, thinking that they wouldn't be interested in little old me. She's quite fierce when roused, is my girl (chip off the old block, some might say....) and she was adamant that I should think like a man and ask for what I want. As she says, the worst that can happen is that they'll say no, and I won't be any worse off than I am now.

This coincided with a tweet from the amazing and inspiring Deborah Stewart. She had retweeted someone else's tweet (are you still with me?) that said "Ask ask ask ask. Your success depends on your willingness to ASK".

And then, while browsing in a charity bookshop yesterday, I came across a fabulous little book called "Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite" by Paul Arden, which is all about how, if you think differently about things, you're going to get a different and probably better result than you would if you carried on thinking about things the same way everyone else does.

Hmmm, I'm thinking. Hmmm....someone's trying to tell me something.

And then I thought of Damian Hughes...if you don't know about him, do look him up, he's one of the people that inspired me to go it alone and he's also a shining example of someone who decided what he wanted and then didn't stop asking for it until he got it.

So what effect has all this had? Well, today I have emailed the following people to ask them for a quote on the importance of living an authentic life and showing the world your True Colours:

• Damian Hughes
• Zandra Rhodes
• Chris Evans

I shall do 3 every day until I have enough to make a book - and then I shall make a book! And I need your help, so please give me your suggestions for who else I should ask for contributions, and I'll contact them.

Onwards and Upwards!!

Quick update - since I wrote the first bit, I've also contacted 2 major magazines and offered myself as a contributor. Watch this space....

On Facing Your Fears

When I was at work, I used to really struggle with waking up - my lovely husband even got me one of those alarm clocks that mimics the sunrise. But still I used to take an age to get going and then spend all day yawning and feeling like I'd been done out of some much needed sleep. But since I've been working for myself, I find I have no such problems. I wake up, I have my cup of tea and I'm raring to go - my mind is full of ideas and I can't wait to get on with the working day.

I don't think I've ever felt this positive at this time of the year, and certainly not first thing in the morning. Feeling happy, confident and full of promise is a very powerful combination - my true colours are shining through and I can heartily recommend this feeling to everyone.

To think I spent so many years being frightened to make this move - coaching helped me to side-step the fear and once I'd gone round it and seen it from the other side I realised it wasn't the big scary monster I'd always thought it was - or rather, it was but it also had its good side. From there, it was easy to harness it for my own ends and walk forwards in tandem with it, up a gentle slope rather than a huge mountain. And now, here I am in the sunlit uplands :-)

When I was coached through my fear (thank you, Anna Lambe xxx) I described it as being big and hairy - Anna immediately got me to think of Sully from Monsters Inc and I realised that fear can be a good thing as well as a bad thing - Sully may be a monster but he's very cuddly and helpful and protective. And sometimes you need a healthy dose of fear to kick start you into action.

Anna then sent me a picture of Sully cuddling a little girl who was dressed up as a monster - and that's when it really hit me. Sometimes, to be bold you need to pretend to be bold first. I decided to put on my own monster suit and step out into life as if I was fearless - and I was bowled over by how easy everything became.

What fears are holding you back from doing what you want to do? Think about your situation - can you narrow down what it is exactly that you're frightened of? Can you describe the fear to yourself in a way that allows you to see the positive side of it? It sounds simple, but it can take a very long time to realise it - a change in your own attitude can reduce the thing that you fear the most to a little pile of ashes, leaving you free to saunter along and enjoy the sunlit uplands of your own life. Why not give it a try?